Take off the Mask and Show Your Beauty Behind it

Yesterday, for Halloween, my daughter came over with the kids for dinner and then trick-or-treating in the neighborhood. After we ate, everyone put on their costumes and got ready to head out. But when the time came to leave, our 4-year-old didn’t want to go. He was afraid–mostly of the scary masks. So I stayed in with him to pass out treats while the others went out into the neighborhood. But if kids rang the doorbell wearing masks, he wouldn’t go near the door.

I thought about this after. Why is he so afraid of masks? Yes, some of them are scary and most are not very becoming, but he knows they’re not real; he knows there’s someone behind them and he knows that they can be taken off. And then I thought about the fact that he’s 4 years old and maybe he doesn’t really understand what’s not real. He doesn’t know yet how to be anything but authentic. He hasn’t yet reached the age where many of us put the mask on and leave it there. That point in our lives where we start to believe that we have to be a certain way to please everyone and to be accepted. How many of us are in this boat and as a result, unhappy, unfulfilled, and scared behind the mask?

I believe that most of us truly want to see, hear and feel what is real. We may not always like what we get, but at least we know where we stand. Real is a far more profound teacher than fake or phony. We can better tap into and understand our own authenticity if those around us are expressing their true selves and we can, in turn, help others to do the same. And when we understand exactly who we are, we can better grow into the people we want to be. And this is what true beauty is all about.

So can we all take off our masks and store them for Halloween? Hope so…

What, This Old Thing?

Five years ago or more now, I bought a dress. It wasn’t a planned purchase, just something that I saw and liked at the time. I thought it would be a great dress for going out or even for work. Time went by, and the dress hung in the closet. I remember thinking at one point, "Maybe this isn’t a good dress for me. Maybe it’s too young looking, or too form-fitting, or maybe the pattern was too busy. Maybe I should just return it." But it continued to hang in the closet.

The other day, I was looking for something in a garment bag and what did I find but the dress–still with the price tag on it. I took it out of the bag and stared at it for a long while. OK, I thought, what am I going to do with this dress? It’s too late to return it and it’s in perfect condition. So I slipped it on over my head. Immediately, I thought, WOW, I Love This Dress!! It’s so comfortable, it fits me like it was made for me, it won’t wrinkle, and it will be perfect for work. And the next day, I did wear it to work and I had the best day. Was it because of the dress? Probably not entirely, but I sure did feel different in it and I even caught myself bouncing down the stairs to go fill the parking meter : ) And I can’t wait to wear it again.

So what changed? The dress? Not at all. It hung untouched in a bag for years. When I took it out, it was still the same dress, thankfully that was still in style (I think : ). Personally, I think any article of clothing that puts you into a positive mood, makes you feel good about yourself, and is comfortable is in style­–your style. I guess it had to be me that changed. Five years ago I felt uncomfortable wearing the dress­–maybe because I didn’t have the confidence in myself to be seen in it. Maybe I didn’t want to be seen, period, and I knew this dress would draw attention to me. But today, I’m happy to put it on and show it to the world–and me too. There was a reason I held on to this dress. To me, it symbolizes my personal growth. Maybe this is why it “fits” me so perfectly now. This is something I’m so grateful for. We always hear, if you haven’t worn it in a year, get rid of it. I’m so glad I didn’t take that advice...

Risky Business

A few weeks ago, I heard rustling in the trees above me and when I looked up, I spotted a squirrel. I watched as it chomped away at the clusters of seeds hanging from a branch. I looked around and saw that several squirrels were also eating in the trees. What struck me about them was that they were not sitting safely on a stable end of a branch close to the trunk, but they were out near the tip, clinging onto the skinny end of the branch as it swayed or bounced with their every movement. This didn’t seem to bother them at all. In fact, when they had had enough to eat, they began to leap between the trees, from one skinny branch to the next. If they lost their footing, they would simply regain it and move on to the next limb. I initially thought that this seemed like risky business, but the squirrels looked highly alert, invigorated, and alive.

How many of us play it safe by hanging out near the trunk where the limbs are strong and stable and how many of us are taking risks and living life out on the skinny branches? The high wire acrobat Papa Wallenda one said, “Life is lived out on the wire, the rest is just waiting.” It’s when we’re trying something new and testing our limits that we feel the most alive and it’s the biggest risks that lead to the greatest rewards.

If you think about it, almost everything we’re doing in our lives right now was, at one time, something new we learned – a risk we took and once we figured out we liked it or it simply felt comfortable, we stuck with it. But notice how over time, many of these things we do no longer stimulate or engage us as they did when they were new. Working as a scientist, I remember what it would feel like when I was trying an experiment for the first time. I would have read the protocol several times and would have everything ready on the bench. I would be switched on and focused and my energy level would be high. My entire being would be fully engaged. But once the experiment entered my comfort zone after repeating it several times, it no longer had the same stimulatory effect. In fact, sometimes I would almost be conducting it unconsciously.

The human brain craves novelty. And the stronger it gets, the more pushing it needs to stay sharp and stimulated. Would we read the same book over and over, never picking up something new to read? Would we eat the same food all day every day? I don’t think so. These things would lose their appeal. Risk involves greater endeavors, greater challenges but also greater opportunity for growth. Of course not every risk will reap a reward. It is inevitable that we fail at some. But taking no risks at all will yield no rewards 100% of the time. I believe that if we take risks, in the end, succeed or fail, we will inevitably grow. And if we spend as much time as we can on the skinny branches we can only increase the chances of this occurring.

Entering the Discomfort Zone

Many of us have developed routines in our lives and a typical day might sound like this for some: we get up, get ready for work, send the kids off to school, spend the day at work, exercise, head home, have dinner, watch TV and finally prepare for the following day. For some things, a consistent schedule is good. For example, setting a specific workout schedule everyday makes good sense because it helps to instill the habit of taking care of ourselves physically and mentally and our health, without a doubt, the sets the stage for how we perform with every other facet of our lives.

What is common, though, is that it’s this same routine, day in and day out that often stifles us, makes us feel unfulfilled and creates the strong impression that something’s missing. We live our lives in autopilot in the comfort zone. I for one have my moments and days in this mode like anyone else. But they do little to advance my personal growth and they certainly don’t make me feel alive. Papa Wallenda said, “Life is lived out on the wire, the rest is just waiting.” What he’s saying is that it’s when we are challenged, scared, buzzing with excitement and anticipation that we enjoy life and the more we look for these opportunities, the less our lives will feel routine.

With our busy schedules during the week, plunging into something daring or exhilarating may seem unrealistic, but it doesn’t have to be that way. It can be anything that will lead us into our discomfort zones, such as introducing ourselves to someone new at work that we look up to, or taking a class to explore a new hobby, or trying a new restaurant. Anything, however insignificant it may seem, that can get the heart pumping, wake up our brains, or even make us feel slightly off balance will do the trick. Over the weekend, I participated in something that, for me, accomplished those things and so many more. I competed in the NY Regional/Tristate Yoga Asana Championship in New York City. You can see some of the event here:

This entire day took me out of my comfort zone on so many levels. For example, I took a class in NYC before the competition at a studio where I’ve never practiced before. That in itself would get the blood pumping. But more dramatically, it was the first time I’ve ever performed anything athletic alone on stage. Except for giving talks, the last time I performed solo in front of an audience was in sixth grade at a school concert, singing “Let Me Be There”, by Olivia Newton John and I don’t have that on video : ) But thinking back to that night, it was one of the most fun and rewarding times of my life. Other challenges to this past weekend: I knew I would be competing with women who had been here many times before, who had been training for much longer than me and whose yoga practices were far more advanced than mine. I was floored and inspired by their abilities. Just look at the woman below who took first place!

So knowing all of this, when I decided to enter this competition, I took it as a personal challenge to do my best and to have fun and that’s what I did. Despite the butterflies and the extreme talent around me, I was able to have fun and feel a very strong sense of accomplishment when it was over and I wouldn’t want to change any of it.

Another gift from this event was the support and encouragement from everyone: the other competitors, judges and organizers, the audience, and especially my friends who came to NYC to watch the event and cheer us on. And my willingness to take the risk in the competition has inspired some of them to enter the competition next year.

Whatever the outcome would have been, my courage to take a chance was the most significant lesson and triumph for me here because it gave me the confidence to believe that if I could do this, there’s no telling what I can accomplish!!! So challenge yourself; step into your discomfort zone and live…

Letting Go and Sending Your Fears into Extinction

Many of us don’t realize the magnitude of influence that negativity has on every second of our lives. The sad part is, the majority of this negativity is not directed towards us by others but is fabricated within our own minds. Take fear for example. Every one of us is afraid of one or more things. I’m not talking about scary monsters, but I may as well be because our fears are in our faces like monsters, or like the ferocious dinosaur below.

They are powerful, vivid, ever present, and limit our creative potential because they are energy drainers that feed off of us to grow, thereby preventing our own positive growth and expansion. It’s only when we find the courage to face our fears that they stop growing because we no longer allow them to feed. And very often, when we tackle that scary thing we realize that it isn’t so bad after all. In fact, whatever it is doesn’t change when we face it, our perception of it changes. Maybe it’s trying new a food or going out and meeting new people or getting on a plane. Whatever it is, once the fear is gone, we can replace it with happiness or confidence or the desire to take on more challenges. We can grow.

The inability to let go of things from our past that we cling to through the negative emotions we’ve assigned to them also has an inhibitory and detrimental impact on our personal growth and happiness. These negative emotions can include regret, resentment, anger, hatred or hostility. Like the fear dinosaur, these also invade our minds and bodies suffocating us, leaving no room for possibility or enthusiasm. As a result, they drag us down, sap our vitality and cause us to contract.

The first step to letting go is to identify those events or circumstances that we’re gripping onto and the unpleasant and unhealthy emotion(s) that we’ve linked to them. Next, we must make a conscious decision to let go of those emotions. A sincere attempt at this will initiate the moving forward process and once that begins, that dinosaur begins to appear further and further off in the distance and begins to shrink in size, making room within us for new experiences, learning, happiness, and growth. Eventually, the once powerful negativity becomes a vague feeling that eventually disappears, leaving behind the initial experience or event without any association to bad feelings - and a lesson. And it is this detached lesson that is the ultimate gift to our transformation and growth and in the presence of enough wisdom, will be called upon to make better decisions in the future.

So if you are committed to your own positive evolution. If you want to lead a fulfilling and happy life that is defined by creativity, enthusiasm, possibility and love, then send your fears and negative feelings of the past into extinction where they belong. And save the monuments for the dinosaurs.

Sunrise Over the Ocean

I’ve spent the last several days in Southern Maine at Old Orchard Beach. As a kid, I would visit here every summer with my family. We would spend a week swimming in the ocean, playing in the sand and eating seafood. I hadn’t been here in seven or eight years and had forgotten all about the beauty of this shoreline. The sand is smooth and the water is clean and low tide goes on forever.

Although I don’t spend time sunbathing, I still love to be out here and as I’ve gotten older, one of my favorite times to come is early in the morning. So all this week, I’ve been on the sand before sunrise. The beach has been mostly empty and I’ve sat quietly, listening to the waves crash and the seagulls. It has also been a perfect time to meditate and journal.

But the best thing, by far, about these mornings has been watching the sunrise over the ocean. It first appears as a dim slice of red/pink that grows into a bright pink glowing ball that looks surreal against the gray sky. As it rises, it casts a brilliant streak of pink across the sand, then soon after, another streak appears behind it that reflects along the surface of the water. Within minutes, the pink orb is replaced by bright yellow light and the sun that we see throughout the day continues its ascent. You can watch this on video here:

Tomorrow morning, I’ll be with the sunrise here one last time before heading home. No doubt I am grateful to be in the presence of something so spectacular, beautiful and miraculous. This week, it’s been the best part of my days…

Reflecting on the Summit

Yesterday morning, I hiked up the Giant Steps Trail at East Rock Park in New Haven, CT. It’s a short but steep climb to the top of the rock called the Summit where you can see for miles. It’s here where one can get a “bird’s eye” view of the city, neighboring towns, and the ocean. It is here where one can ponder over the big picture. Where the minutiae become buried and where matters of significance rise to the surface. We often get so busy with our days that we forget why we’re doing what we’re doing. Or we get so sidetracked with drama or trivial matters that we lose site of our values and our goals and we begin to do things that we shouldn’t be doing. Or we put ourselves on autopilot and don’t see when it’s time to rethink what we’re doing.

So to ensure that we reach our mountaintops we need to take the time to review our “big picture”. And ask the big questions such as, how am I doing? Am I focused on my goals? Am I proceeding in the right direction? Am I leading a meaningful, fulfilling life? Do I have solid relationships? Do I have a strong inner life? Am I a good role model? Am I making an impact? Am I thankful for what I have versus longing for what I don’t? Positive answers enforce our goals and give us the courage to reach even further, for example, by taking more risks. If we’re unhappy with our answers, we can decide what needs to change to put us on the right path. So whether it’s standing on the top of a giant rock or sitting on your living room floor, reflect on your big picture regularly so that it remains in focus.

Loving the Rain

Rainy days. So many of us sigh at the thought of a rainy day. We lose our energy, our drive, and our enthusiasm that the sunny, blue sky seems to generate. They represent those dark times when we’re facing a challenge or struggling with one of life’s curveballs. Those times when we want nothing more than to hibernate. But over the years, I’ve come to love rainy days. To me, they’re an opportunity to slow down a bit or to catch up on things. Off the top of my head, I can think of a dozen things I would do and have done to make the most of a rainy day: freshen up my home, read a good book or watch a movie, journal, try a new recipe, call family or friends, listen to great music, sit and think or make plans, exercise, take a nap and the list goes on. Over the winter, I spent a few months in Rwanda. It was the rainy season there. It rained almost everyday. And on so many of those days, a beautiful rainbow would appear to brighten the sky as the sun was coming out. And everything would quickly come back to life.

I was thinking that rainbows are an interface, the doorway between the dark and the light that can lead to life’s riches. If we embrace those dark times, those rainy days, understanding that they too will pass and spend them reflecting, learning, loving, catching up, immersing ourselves in the downpour, cleaning up our messes, grateful for what we have, then we will have accomplished something, learned something and maybe even grown. So then when we look up and see the sky again come alive with color and the sun begin to shine, we will be ready for the gifts that life has to offer.

Lessons From an Inchworm

Yesterday, I mentioned that one of the things that I am grateful for are my quiet mornings in the backyard. With the nice weather here, I am finding more and more that I will take the opportunity to spend time there, even with my computer to do work. Just sitting under the tree alone helps me feel more connected to nature and makes doing anything more enjoyable. But what is it about nature that inspires me? Is it the colors, the sounds, the tranquility, the beauty? Certainly all of those things come to mind and have a calming yet positive influence over me. But I’ve also come to realize it’s the abundance of energy as well. By discovering some of the organisms present, even in the backyard, I’ve concluded that the energy in nature exerts enormous influence. It’s infinite: there are birds of all kinds, squirrels, chipmunks. Bugs galore, many that I’ve just recently discovered here, including this adorable inchworm (more on the millimeter scale) that made its way down my computer screen and onto the keyboard.

I was fascinated by its determination. And then there are the plants and trees and the infinite number of microorganisms found in and above the soil. In fact, in Bernard Dixon’s book, Power Unseen, How Microbes Rule the World, he says that “The powerful work of microbes in the soil is essential to the existence of life itself...life as we know it would simply not be possible without their assistance.” So, too, there is a staggering amount of activity and life happening around us that we can’t even see. All of it, though, I believe is in the form of pure, positive energy, without attitude, without baggage. With a simple purpose. Life’s only pursuit in nature is to thrive and proliferate and when we submerge ourselves in that atmosphere (with a continuous supply of fresh oxygen produced from trees and plants), we can’t help but feel energized and refreshed. It helps to clear my head to make room for new ideas and at the same time lift my spirits. Its contribution is unconditional. It never fails because it knows no other way and it is undeterred from the influences of you or me. So whenever possible, take a break from behind the four walls. Sit, read, meditate, walk or even try doing some work in nature. You’ll be grateful for the benefits.

Gratitude List

Hello, my name is Linda and I want to welcome and thank you all for visiting my blog. I'd like to focus here on the concept of gratitude and the idea that there is always something to be thankful for. I find this to be a very powerful tool that I frequently use and I hope, along the way to share with you some of the simple things that bring joy into my life as well as some of the extraordinary people and places that add beauty to the World we live in.