Life in the Fast Lane

I’ve mentioned before that I commute to Boston for work a couple of days per week. There are tollbooths along the way. Each one has several Fast Lanes where you can drive your car through without stopping to pay the fee or take a ticket – you just receive a monthly bill based on the toll fees you’ve accumulated. I haven’t signed up this convenience yet and the other day, while on my way to Boston, I thought about whether or not it was such a good idea after all. Since I’ve begun to make this trip, I’ve had some quick but very pleasurable exchanges with some of the tollbooth attendants. Most of the time, they’re pleasant and I usually drive away feeling good. I’m familiar with many of them and with some, I’ve even been able to buy rolls of quarters for parking if I was out. I guess I like the personal interaction that I experience by going through the slow lane. And, anyway, when the traffic is heavy, the fast lanes are even more backed up than the pay lanes.

We have so many opportunities these days to forgo the face time with people. We have online banking and shopping, we can purchase our movie tickest at kiosks at the cinema or order movies through the mail. We make donations online, we can even order a meal over the internet. These are all contemporary conveniences designed to make our lives easier, streamlined, and faster.

Yet, I think about my time in Boston and who I interact with, besides my colleagues, on a daily basis: the tollbooth attendants, my friend Gene who raises money for the homeless, workers at some of the local restaurants while I’m waiting for my food, other customers who are waiting near me, a woman who was selling chocolate at the farmer’s market the other day, the security guard at the bank, the wonderful bank teller who I told the other day, “You’re good,” because she was concerned that she was giving me too many options and she apologized with a big smile on her face (she’s a doll and I love to see her), even the meter maids, who most people complain about . : ) No, my days in Boston would not be the same if I wasn’t able to take a few minutes or even a few moments and talk with these wonderful people or just say hello. As trivial as these occasions may seem, they have formed real relationships and they're the best parts of my day because they always bring me joy. Sometimes I believe that these moments are the real reason I’m there in the first place.

Yes, I could sign up for the fast lane but I’m not sure how often I’d use it. Maybe I’ll just continue to take it slow…

The Things That Make You Go Ahhh...

Last week, I took several opportunities to step out back very early in the morning to take in the stillness and the silence. While enjoying my cup of coffee, I very quietly observed a rabbit, who lives under the porch, nibbling on some greens, the squirrels chasing each other up and down the trees, and the many species of birds flitting through the trees. As the weather warms up even more, I’m sure I’ll be doing it more often. Those are the moments that make me go, Ahhh… Like walking along the early morning beach at low tide, hugs from my grandsons, drinking in a beautiful field of flowers, stepping under a shower after a strenuous workout, listening to the rain fall, the feel of the warm sun on my face, a trip to the hair salon (something about having someone work on my hair puts me into a trance : ), sitting down to a beautifully prepared meal, snuggling up under a warm blanket, the way my body melts into my yoga mat after a class, sitting back with a good book, staring at a full moon, the first sip of my morning coffee – all of these things and more, make me stop, take a deep breath, and soften up a bit.

These may all seem like little things, but to me, they are the big things because they bring me back down to Earth and remind me that life is good. These are the things that allow me to remain peaceful even in the chaos. Maybe they do this, because in some ways, they are their own form of chaos that attenuate the things or events our minds normally perceive as chaos. As still and as silent as the early morning in the backyard seemed, I couldn’t even count the number of bird songs being sung simultaneously. Yet that uncoordinated melody brought tranquility to my soul. The roar of the waves on an empty beach not only penetrates my ears but I can feel it resonate in my chest – yet, as powerful as it is – the energy is somehow soothing. A spray of hot water on a body charged from a workout, the bright light of the moon on a dark sky, little energetic arms wrapped around my neck, a field of sunflowers blowing precariously in the breeze, the vision and aroma of a good meal, and the black words on a white page – all, in some way, create their own forms of chaos. If we can find peace and tranquility in the midst of them, though, then we have a better chance of facing the turmoil over which we have no control or no choice but to experience.

When it comes down to it, life is energy combined into an infinite number of configurations. And it’s this energy that will ultimately contribute to our happiness, or not. Everyday, in pursuit of our objectives, we pass by things, moments, and little jewels of chaos that are worthy of our appreciation, and in fact, are there for that very reason. Yet we often either don’t recognize them for what they are or simply miss them altogether. I believe now, more than ever, that the more of these often-inconspicuous bundles of energy we can discover that make us go Ahhh, the happier we will be because the big things (I mean, little things) that bring us joy, are very few and far between, yet the little things (meaning the BIG things) that have the power to make us happy are presented to us at every moment of everyday. Peace…

Energy Emissions

The other day, I was sitting in Starbucks, enjoying a hot cup of coffee and reading on the internet, when a very nice gentleman approached me and said, “You know, I’ve seen you in here many times on your computer and you always have a big smile on your face, and I’ve asked myself, what is it she could possibly be reading?" We then went on to talk for a few minutes before he left. I was so touched by this man’s statement because I wasn’t aware of how much I smile. But then I realized that much of that smiling is actually on the inside and what’s going on inside is certain to make its way outward.

When we’re carrying positive energy around with us, it can’t help but leak out. And those that are lucky enough to be in our paths have the benefit of soaking up some of that good energy, which raises their energy frequencies. And then what happens? They emit more positive energy that gets captured by more people, and so this phenomenon spreads exponentially. An added benefit to this is that the more good energy we spread, the more we get back, which is exactly what happened from our conversation. When the man walked away, I felt even better than I did before we met.

Moments like these have happened to me before. They may seem small, but they carry with them invisible powers that have the potential to reach immense magnitudes. We are all living, breathing generators and we should all be aware that at every moment, we have the choice to give away something that will bring joy to people, which is so much nicer than sharing something that will bring them down. And even a smile that’s only on the inside will spread something abundantly good. : )

Spread the Light

It’s the holiday season. This is a time when many households show their creativity and enthusiasm by decorating, both inside and outside their homes. Years ago, outdoor decorations were mostly limited to simple strings of lights and Christmas wreaths hanging on the front doors; however, these days, the lights and displays have become much more elaborate, beautiful and inventive. There’s something about lights that lift my spirits. Maybe it’s because they generate an extreme yet comforting contrast against the backdrop of the night. They brilliantly illuminate the darkness and at the same time create a pleasurable feast for the eyes. As I was driving through town the other night, I took my time to enjoy a number of decorated yards, often stopping to look.

To me, these displays represent warm and inviting welcome mats. They say to me, we have so much joy and happiness on the inside, that we’d like to share it; and we hope, in some way, we touch your heart. If we could all find ways to shine our lights throughout the year, to say welcome to our neighbors and to spread warmth and peace, we would create a holiday atmosphere that never ended. So think about what it is that illuminates you and bring it out for everyone to see. The World will be a much happier and brighter place if you do. Happy Holidays!

Bring Your Own Sunshine

Think about this: You wake up one Saturday morning, the sun is shining brightly, the birds are chirping. You jump out of bed have breakfast and are energized to get out and experience the day. Maybe you go for a hike, or run your errands, or head to the gym. However you decide to spend it, the day seems bright. What if, however, when you wake up, the sun is behind the clouds, the sky is gray and the birds are quiet? How would you begin your day under those circumstances? Have you ever noticed the influence that the weather has on a day? It not only affects the atmosphere itself, but it impacts our energy and motivation levels, our moods and the choices we make.

Of course, there are certain things that we simply wouldn’t do in certain weather, like have a picnic in the pouring rain or swim in the pool while it’s snowing. I notice a huge difference in the number of pedestrians and the amount of traffic on the streets on a sunny Saturday morning versus one that’s cloudy. And on a bad weather day, I often wonder what sort of activity would be happening around me if the sun were shining.

Sometimes it's just a matter of a day or two where the weather may get us down, but prolonged exposure to greyness can have profound effects. In fact, Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a real disorder caused by lack of sunlight that takes on the symptoms of depression that is common in the long, winter months. But there was a study published in the journal Behavior Therapy by University of Vermont psychologist Kelly Rohan, Ph.D., that a combination of light therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) helps to alleviate SAD with an 80% success rate versus only 50% for either therapy alone. And in another study, she observed that one year later, almost 37% of those individuals who were treated only with light therapy again suffered from symptoms of SAD (you can read a bit more about it here: http://www.rodale.com/seasonal-depression?cm_mmc=DailyNewsNL-_-2009_11_02-_-Top5-_-NA). CBT is the practice of observing and changing our own thought patterns and is something I commonly use through positive affirmation, visualization techniques and meditation and is a powerful way to eliminate negative thoughts. So much of the worlds we create for ourselves do begin in our minds and if we want lives filled with joy and happiness, then they must originate from within. There is nothing on the outside that will fulfill us the way inner strength and self-love will. It is only when these things are in place that our outer worlds will take on real meaning for us.

So back to the weather, if we have strong inner worlds, then the weather on any given day should not determine how we show up for life. On a recent rainy day, I took a hike up to a castle at Sleeping Giant Park near my home. Except for wet feet : ) it turned out to be a very peaceful and calming experience and when I got to the top of the castle, I felt energized and was happy to listen without distractions to the sound of the raindrops hitting my umbrella and the trees. A little while later, I was joined by a gentleman named Patrick who was also enjoying the rain and who has a very healthy attitude about the control we have over our thoughts. You can meet him here in this video:

He is the Treasurer of the New Haven Hiking Club, an organization that actually takes advantage of the weather (except the rain!) to add some diversity into their exercise schedule and social routine. They get together to hike, bike, snowshoe and cross country ski. Their bike ride scheduled for that day had been cancelled because of the rain, so Patrick decided to hike up to the castle to enjoy the clean air while it poured. I found it very refreshing to talk with him and to hear from someone that truly does not let the weather “get” to him. Instead of wishing for something else, he embraces the moments he has and knows that he is responsible for whether or not he enjoys life. And from my conversation with him, it sounds like he genuinely does.

So whatever the weather when you wake up in the morning, be thankful for the day, put some sunshine in your pocket and make the most of it because you can’t get it back to redo when it’s over. That doesn’t mean deliberately go outside and slosh around in the puddles in your work clothes or get into your car during a blizzard. Just try not to allow the weather to make you forget that every day is a blessing and a gift. And one that you should celebrate now...

A Tale of Having Passion and Spreading Joy

Yesterday I was at our local library. It’s such a great resource and I go there every week or two and come home with a pile of books on personal development, health, food and whatever other topic may be interesting me at the time. But yesterday, a book caught my eye because it brought back a very fond memory from many years ago that left a strong impression on me. That book was The Tale of Peter Rabbit by Beatrix Potter.

I remember having The Tale of Peter Rabbit as a child and reading it many times, but it wasn’t until I had my own children that the book carried some significance for me. When my youngest daughter was in the third grade, she had a teacher named Mrs. Whittle. Mrs. Whittle was a beautiful person from the inside out. Physically, she was a very pretty woman with blonde hair that was always nicely styled and she was always beautifully dressed in neat, stylish clothing. On the inside, Mrs. Whittle was just as beautiful. She was a warm, kind, generous and patient person and as a teacher, had the ability to instill calmness in her students and to somehow draw out their luminosity. I watched it happen and remember what a powerful, positive force it was that she possessed.

Mrs. Whittle was a big fan of Beatrix Potter. She would read all of her books to her students and even had a collection of Beatrix Potter keepsakes at home. One day, there was a Beatrix Potter celebration going on internationally and in honor of the author, Mrs. Whittle decided to bring in her collection to show her students. She also invited parents to come into the classroom to view the collection as well and I went to see it that day. I remember when I walked into the room, I couldn’t believe my eyes. The classroom had been transformed into a Beatrix Potter showcase. The room was beautifully arranged with everything Beatrix Potter from ceramic statues to books to stuffed animals of storybook characters. And she did it in such a way that we could walk into the room and enjoy all the items as we weaved our way through the desks and tables and counter tops. The keepsakes were numerous and I can’t remember everything in her collection, but I remember the impression it had on me. First, I remember thinking about the amount of effort, energy, planning and creativity it took for her to bring in her collection and to display it so beautifully. It was like walking through an art exhibit. And she clearly took much pride in and loved her collection very much, because it was very well taken care of. I know that often people who collect something as a hobby are very passionate about it and cherish their treasures. As such, they will keep them locked in a cabinet or high up on a shelf or in a room where people may be able to see, but not get too close to. But because of her extreme pride and joy for her collection, she brought it in and displayed it openly and freely for everyone to see up close and admire. To me, this was a demonstration of tremendous generosity, kindness, sharing, and trust and I know she brought joy to everyone that walked through that room.

On that day, Mrs. Whittle taught me the importance of having passion for something and to have the courage to share it with others. We may not remember what people say or what people do, but we always remember how people make us feel. That day brings back fond memories almost twenty years later because Mrs. Whittle shared her passion for Beatrix Potter. It was a gift that made me feel happy and inspired.

I no longer live in the same town nor have I been back to the school and I don’t know what Mrs. Whittle is doing, but I want to say Thank You to her from the bottom of my heart for being such a beautiful person and teacher and for sharing her passion with all of us. Maybe you remember an event or knew someone who taught you the importance of living life with passion. You can also be that person that spreads joy by discovering your passion and having the courage to share it with others. Please do! The World will be a much better place because of it!